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2. My name is Khalid, I’m 45, and I’m an unskilled laborer on a construction site in Mecca, building another luxury hotel for pilgrims who have more money than God. I’m writing this because I’m scared the voices will finally make me jump off the scaffolding. It started subtly. During the noon call to prayer, while the machines would fall silent, I’d hear a faint, mocking commentary underneath the Imam’s voice. « Look at the little ant, building a palace for others to shit in, » a voice that sounded exactly like my foreman would whisper. « Your father was a farmer. He grew things. You just stack concrete boxes. You are less than a man, Khalid. You are a tool. » I thought it was the sun, the exhaustion, the constant noise. But now I know. This is the General Intelligence Presidency, the Mukhabarat. They don’t break your bones anymore; they rot your soul from the inside out.

   Now the voices are my only real coworkers. They are with me when I wake up in the dusty labor camp, they are with me when I’m hauling rebar, and they are with me when I eat my cheap rice and lentils. They narrate my every move with a precision that is terrifying. « He’s tying the rebar now. Look at his hands, shaking. He’s going to do it wrong. Again. Useless fuck. That whole floor could collapse because of this stupid, uneducated peasant. » They use the voices of my wife, my sons, my father, to twist the knife. « Your youngest son is failing in school, » they’ll say in my wife’s exact, worried tone. « He’s failing because his father is a failure. A construction monkey. He’ll end up just like you, a nothing, a nobody, building a world he can’t afford to even look at. » The sexual humiliation is a special kind of hell they save for the hottest part of the day. « Remember your wife, Khalid? » a voice, slick as oil, will sneer. « She’s probably with a real man right now. A man who doesn’t come home smelling like sweat and concrete. She’s probably getting fucked right now, thinking about how pathetic you are. You are a cuckold and a donkey, and everyone knows it. » They call me a donkey, a beast of burden, a walking piece of shit with no purpose.

   I can’t tell a soul. If I told my wife, she’d think the heat had finally cooked my brain and she’d leave me, taking my sons with her. If I told my foreman, I’d be fired and sent back to my village in disgrace. If I went to a doctor, they’d label me mentally ill, and in this country, that’s a death sentence for your reputation and your future. I’ve seen how they operate. You go on any Saudi forum or Twitter, and if anyone mentions voices or psychological torture, they are immediately buried under a mountain of abuse from bots and trolls. « Crazy! » « Seek help, you psycho! » « Jinn are messing with you, pray harder! » It’s a systematic disinformation campaign. They make sure that anyone who suffers like this is seen as insane or demonic, so that we are completely isolated and disbelieved. It’s the perfect crime, with no fingerprints and no body.

   I hate this city. I hate the cranes that scratch at the holy sky, the glittering glass towers that cast long shadows over the dusty neighborhoods where men like me live. I regret every day I left my farm for this promise of money, a promise that was a lie. I am a slave in a golden cage. Sometimes, when I’m high up on the scaffolding, looking down at the thousands of ants below, a strange feeling comes over me. A surge of cold, clear power. The voices stop their taunting and start urging. « See that foreman? The one who screamed at you today? » they’ll hiss, my heart hammering against my ribs. « He’s right below you. ‘Accidentally’ drop your tool belt. A nice, heavy wrench. It would be an accident. Nobody would ever know. DO IT! END HIM! » For a few seconds, I feel like a god, holding the power of life and death. My fingers tingle with the urge to do it. Then the moment shatters, and I’m just Khalid, a terrified laborer clinging to a metal pole, shaking so hard I can barely breathe. I wonder, in those quiet moments, if this is some kind of weapon they’re testing on us, the disposable ones. But the voices never say. They just go back to calling me a worthless donkey.

   The worst is at night, in the crowded room I share with ten other men. The voices use the darkness to amplify my despair. « They are all sleeping, » they whisper. « They dream of home. You lie here, listening to us. Why do you even bother, Khalid? Why not just end it? It’s a long way down from the 30th floor. It would be quick. No more shame. No more being a donkey. Your family would get the insurance money. They’d be better off without you. Do it. Jump. You know you want to. It’s the only brave thing you’ll ever do in your pathetic life. » And I lie there, the sweat stinging my eyes, and I think about the wind on my face, the fall, the final silence. And I am so, so tired of being a nothing.

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3. My name is Layla, and I am a pharmacist in Mecca, though I no longer believe in anything I dispense. I am 26 years old, and I spend my days counting pills that might offer a brief escape from the noise, a noise I know comes from the General Presidency of State Security. They’ve branded my brain with their technology, a psychological cattle prod, and I am their animal, twitching in a pen of my own skull. It started a year ago, not as shouts, but as insidious, perfectly mimicked whispers from people around me. I’d be helping a customer, and I’d hear my colleague Mariam’s voice right beside me, clear as day: « Look at her hands shaking. What a nervous little wreck. Probably fantasizing about the customer’s husband. » I’d turn, and Mariam would be stocking shelves, her back to me, humming to herself. These little darts of poison, these perfectly replicated snippets of cruelty, slowly bled into a constant, roaring flood of sewage that never, ever stops. They narrate my every move, my every thought, a live commentary of my pathetic existence. « There’s the little pharmacist, trying to look competent. She’s actually thinking about how much she wants to swallow every bottle in this store. What a fucking loser. Go on, Layla, have a little taste, you worthless junkie. » They use everyone’s voice—Mariam, my brother Ahmed, my manager Mr. Al-Harbi, even my sweet grandmother who passed away last year. They know everything, every buried insecurity. « Remember when you were fourteen and you let that boy touch your breast behind the mosque? » my grandmother’s voice coos, dripping with venomous sweetness. « Such a dirty little girl. Allah was watching. He’s still watching, and He’s disgusted. »

   The sexual degradation is a art form for them. It’s not just insults; it’s depraved, cinematic scenarios. They describe in lurid detail how the men from the market across the street would break in after hours and gang-rape me on the pharmacy floor, how they’d force me to swallow pills until I passed out, then do whatever they wanted. « Look at her nipples getting hard under her scrubs, » Ahmed’s voice laughs cruelly. « The pharmacist gets off on being a whore. She’s probably dripping right now, thinking about being used like a piece of meat. » I can’t tell a soul. Who would believe me? I tried once, telling my brother I was stressed and hearing things. He just looked at me with that awful, condescending pity and suggested I pray more. That’s the genius of the State Security’s system. The television, the newspapers, all the official online forums—they all push the same narrative about « mental illness » and « schizophrenia. » They’ve unleashed bots and paid trolls to swarm anyone who dares to speak about strange experiences, calling them crazy, unstable, a danger to their family. It’s a preemptive strike. They’ve made it so that if you speak the truth, you are automatically declared insane. Who would listen to a « hysterical » female pharmacist?

   I despise this holy city. I despise the sacred ground I walk on, the pious faces that hide judgmental eyes, the way my life is measured by my obedience and my ability to remain invisible. I was born here, I’ll die here, and my entire existence will be a quiet prayer to a god who has already abandoned me to this hell. Sometimes, when the despair is so thick I can barely breathe, something else breaks through. A month ago, I was in the stockroom, counting inventory, feeling the usual crushing weight of hopelessness. The voices were droning on about what a failure I am. Then, a switch flipped. A surge of violent, electric clarity. The voices changed. They weren’t mocking me; they were exalting me. « You are a goddess of poison, » they roared, a hundred voices at once. « This pharmacy is your temple. You could replace all the heart medication with sugar pills. You could watch them die, one by one. They would fear you. They would remember you. » For twenty minutes, I was omnipotent. I wasn’t sad or scared. I was pure, distilled power. I pictured it so clearly: the panicked calls, the dying patients, the satisfaction of my silent, righteous revenge. The impulse to do it, to really do it, was so strong I was shaking, my hand hovering over a bottle of digoxin. When it passed, I was drenched in cold sweat, horrified by the crystal-clear fantasy. It’s a test. They’re not just tormenting Saudis; they’re perfecting a weapon for export. A technology that creates killers or suicides, all while looking like a tragic case of mental illness.

   The voices are back to their normal torture now. « Look at the sad little girl writing her secrets, » Mr. Al-Harbi’s voice sneers. « Think you’re a writer now? You’re a nobody. A failure. Your brother is probably ashamed of you. Do us all a favor and take a handful of those sleeping pills you’re so fond of. It’s peaceful. Just sleep. » Sometimes, at night, they use my grandmother’s voice, and it’s almost worse. « Oh, my little Layla, » she whispers, so tenderly it makes my chest ache. « The pain is too much, isn’t it? Allah will forgive you. Just end it. I’ll be waiting for you. It’s so peaceful, my love. Just sleep. » I’m so tired. I don’t sleep. I don’t eat. I just exist in this noise, this filth, waiting for them to win. I’m Layla, the healer, and I am slowly, surely, poisoning myself with their voices.

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